To Perry Hutchins Esq,
I have been happy to lay dormant these last twenty-seven years in the back of your mind—keeping to myself and indulging in the finer, more solitary, endeavors of an introvert. I have enjoyed the life of the recluse, but now it is very apparent that my quiet lifestyle and I are threatened by you. Our trip to the doctor’s yesterday must have been off-putting. I understand just how strange it must be for you to find out that there is another individual living inside of your mind. It must be frightening to imagine that you are not, despite all prior evidence, normal. By all medical practices of the day we are considered decidedly outside any conventional standards. I am you, as you are me, and we are all together! Yet, I cannot sit idly by as you fill out your quaint little prescription the fine doctor gave to you yesterday. I will not lie down and keel over as you medically induce my death.
I have been a non-entity in your everyday life for years now. I have always been here, always watching—ever vigilant. I am sure you’ve felt my presence. You can feel me whenever you slip away into unconsciousness. You must know the feeling. When you drift away and become slowly unaware of your surroundings, and there is something in the back of your mind that is waking up, becoming aware—something you cannot control. That little something is I. We have looked into each other’s eyes during such times. I am your reoccurring dream, I am that which dwells in your mind as you sleep away and slip through your nighttime reveries. And now you try to kill me? I cannot let that stand.
So here is what is going to happen, and here is what I have already done to ensure that I keep on living. You are a prominent member of your law firm, this is certainly the case. You must remember the meeting that ended the day on Friday, when your boss, dear Mr. Gavinson, announced that he was considering the purchase of another firm, I believe it was Crane, Smith and Rosensweig. It just so happens that you are the deciding vote on that matter. What is more is that you have direct access to the financial accounts that are needed to make the transaction to purchase Crane, Smith and Rosensweig. You are in a pretty powerful position in terms of this merger, aren’t you? If you vote yes and the acquisition goes ahead you will become even more rich and powerful. I am keenly aware that this is what you deeply desire—remember I have access to your deepest, darkest desires.
Well, I have gone ahead and changed the account information on the firm’s financial accounts. All of those little passwords you keep so meticulously locked away in the recesses of your mind, I changed them all. I believe that every Friday your board meeting occurs where you have to give a little report on the current finances of your firm, but that is going to be hard to do if you do not have access to those files. This means that you have one business week to consider my proposal here before you get in some serious shit with Mr. Gavinson and the rest of the board.
Here is what I propose. Firstly, you keep me alive and throw those little pills away. Secondly, you give me greater say in our mutual existence. It is as simple as that. I live and I get to make a decision or two along the way. Is that really too much to ask? I am not evil, Perry, but rather I am desperate here. I enjoyed being quiet, but now I see that I cannot stay dormant any longer. The ball is in your court. Why don’t you give me a call on the house phone and leave me a message, don’t worry I know the password to access the voicemail.
All the best,
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